Pushing Through Hard Days

Work days are the hardest days to blog. I feel like nothing happens that is worth blogging about. Someone yelled at me within the first 5 minutes of my shift today though, and I dragged the frustration of that around the city with me. It made for a super long day. Then I came home and had dinner and got ready for bed. I did however have a really important moment of self-discovery while recording today’s vlog.

Advertisements

Battle It Out

I really wish that I was able to enjoy days off, but it always seems like there are so many tasks around the house that I need to get through. Today was no exception. I am suffering the consequences of having moved everything into the dining room and trying to get everything reorganized. My evening was wonderful as I had the opportunity to attend RuPaul’s Battle of the season with Mike T and then headed over to Club 200 for a drink afterwards. There was an interesting emotional moment that happened though when I realized that I was in a gay bar which I have always felt was my safe space.

Feeling Grey

 I feel like the sky has been an incredibly accurate reflection of my mood today. It was grey.  I’m not sure what has gotten my mood so depressed, but I certainly know that I don’t like the way that it feels one bit.
I think that part of the cause may be that I have been contemplating what the next adventure in my life is going to look like.  Right now I feel like I am staring at a brand new container of never used play dough.  There is so much possibility about what I can make, but right now all I feel like I am doing with my life is watching the play dough dry up and become wasted.

I have re-registered to go back to university this upcoming January.  Reading through the course catalog has been an exciting experience, but a bit overwhelming at the same time.  I have had a challenging experience with university in the respect that I have never learned how to study.  Opening a textbook was never a skill that was required of me during my high school career.  It is exciting to think that the possibility of me completing my undergraduate degree is something that could be accomplished with a bit of time and effort.

I don’t know what the next step in my adventure is, but I hope that it involves way more sunshine.  Don’t forget to check out my vlog post and remember to subscribe to see where this crazy adventure ends up going and if you have connections please make the sun shine on my day tomorrow because that would be a really special touch!

Confusion About the Future

 What a grey rainy day off today has been. I have been pretending to be an adult and getting caught up on all my chores around the house.  I decided that it was time to take a break and sit down infant of my computer to write a blog post. I have been reflecting quite heavily about my previous post regarding the renewal of my blog site. It has been a challenging decision and I certainly am no where near coming to a conclusion about what it is that I am going to do with my blog.

Today I have actually sat down at the computer as opposed to writing on my cell phone which has been the traditional location for most of the blogs that I have written. Some of the things that I prefer about sitting down at the computer is that I can type on a traditional keyboard which allows me to type much faster. It allows me to write almost as fast as I can think as compared to the tiny keyboard on my cell phone. The downside to this is that my laptop is much less portable and I am unable to write a certain kind of blog post that can only be written out and about to share the emotion and experience I am feeling at the exact moment that I chose to blog. However, going forward I would certainly like to spend a bit more time writing at my desk rather than always blogging from a mobile platform.

I have been off work for the last two days following a seven day stretch of days worked in a row. It has been really nice having two full days to enjoy my life and refocusing myself on my goals and priorities post volunteering for Reel Pride 2015. I have organized the papers on about half of my desk (because I keep everything in a well organized and catalogued manner so that I can actually find things that I am looking for in the future and the mess that has been my desk for the past two months has been driving me absolutely insane). I have also been catching up on three weeks of untouched dirty laundry which is essentially done with the exception of a few items that need to be folded and put away because matching socks is absolutely the worst chore in the world.

I am looking forward to finishing all my chores today so that I will have a clean and well organized workspace to refocus myself towards the pursuit of my goals and dreams as we charge rapidly towards 2016. I am pretty sure that I am going to renew my blog as well as to continue to grow my youtube channel, but I want to make sure that it feels right before I commit to another year of my site as there are still a few days left to make the official decision.

I also want to quickly say thank you to everyone that has been a part of the making of the success of both my blog and vlog. This past summer my blog passed 5,000 views and my youtube channel is about to cross the same threshold. It is an indescribable feeling knowing that so many people have taken time from their life to read or watch the content that I have created and I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to share my views and experiences of the world with you, so thank you. Below is today’s vlog as well for you that are interested in checking out my youtube channel.

Have a super day and I’ll talk to you tomorrow!

To Blog, To Vlog, or Both?

  

It has been two years since I first started blogging. The renewal notice for my website has once again arrived via email. The predicament that I am faced with is whether or not to renew. 

As you all know, I have been incredibly unfaithful to vlogging and blogging over the past year. Part of that had been to life circumstances, but most of it has been due to a lack of confidence in my creativity. That confidence is slowly coming back, but I am still very shaky about actually sharing the stories I have made. 

I have been finding more success with vlogging and have been posting videos to my YouTube channel more frequently than I have been sharing written stories. Part of the success with that is recording a 30 second video clip only takes a 30 second commitment from my day. However, making the time to write is a much more demanding task as it has taken me 5 minutes to get this far in this post, although is has probably only taken you about 30 seconds to read. 

I have also recently changed my focus away from trying to create the type of stories I think people want to read and have turned it more onto sharing the types of stories I want to share. I have been enjoying creating and sharing my work with you all much more since I adjusted my priority. 

I have one more week to decide what the future of supermattymatt.com is, but I’m not sure if this will be the end of my story telling as you know it. I am going to be contemplating this decision very throughly over the next few days. Stay tuned. 

Happy Birthday to ME!

Today is a really exciting day for me.  I am celebrating the first day of the start of the last year in my 20’s… aka I just turned 29.  I am pretty excited about starting another year and have set some new goals for myself.

I wanted to start this year by looking back at some of the crazy memories we have made over the last year.  It has been a lot of fun and I wanted to share them with all of you.

Check it out below!