Pushing Through Hard Days

Work days are the hardest days to blog. I feel like nothing happens that is worth blogging about. Someone yelled at me within the first 5 minutes of my shift today though, and I dragged the frustration of that around the city with me. It made for a super long day. Then I came home and had dinner and got ready for bed. I did however have a really important moment of self-discovery while recording today’s vlog.

Advertisements

Battle It Out

I really wish that I was able to enjoy days off, but it always seems like there are so many tasks around the house that I need to get through. Today was no exception. I am suffering the consequences of having moved everything into the dining room and trying to get everything reorganized. My evening was wonderful as I had the opportunity to attend RuPaul’s Battle of the season with Mike T and then headed over to Club 200 for a drink afterwards. There was an interesting emotional moment that happened though when I realized that I was in a gay bar which I have always felt was my safe space.

Learning to Walk Again

 
Well hello again blog.  How have you been?  It seems like it has been months since I have sat down in-front of my computer to write you a story… Oh wait it actually has been!There is a a reason for it, but I can’t share all the details.  2016 has hit me like a freight train, like a really big freight train, the kind that has like six locomotives at the front followed by like 1,000 big heavy box cars… That kind of freight train.  There have been a series of really unpleasant life events that have all occurred in rapid succession which have left me feeling rather overwhelmed.  It became way too much to deal with all at once.  So I have slammed on the brakes and I am slowly getting through it all day-by-day.

The piece that I am ready to get through today is blogging.  I haven’t made a vlog on YouTube in quite some time either.  I find that it takes far more effort to record a video clip, edit the clips together, and publish a video; but this post isn’t about vlogging.  My small step today has been to sit down and write which feels really, really good.

I am so thankful for all the amazing friends that I have in my life that have been here to support me through this rough patch.  Sometimes just having a friend remind me to relax and that tomorrow is a brand new day was all I needed.

Aside from all the events that have happened so far this year, another struggle I have is remembering to write my ideas and stories down.  As you know, I am a bus driver which gives me a lot of time to think.  I get the opportunity to travel around Winnipeg and see a lot of things that would make for killer blog material, but I can’t just pull over and start writing on the side of the road.  Could you imagine…

“Ummmm… Driver… Why are we stopped?”

“Hold on… I’m blogging…”

It is even a challenge to note down the ideas on a piece of paper while I’m at work since I am required to focus on safely maneuvering my gigantic metal bus down the extremely narrow streets while avoiding the limitless numbers of hazards.  By the time I get to the next place to stop and would have had the chance to note down my blog idea, I have had my attention pulled away to avoid 160 pot holes, 239 cars, and answer 172 questions about how to get downtown.

Don’t interpret that as me complaining, safe driving and customer service are my priorities while I am at work.  Maybe I am just getting old and need to play more brain games to improve my memory skills in order to remember what it was I wanted to write about again today.

What was I talking about again?  Oh ya… Blogging…

I am really thankful that life has appeared to take a break from building hurdles in my path.  It has certainly provided me an opportunity to do a lot of reflection on what my goals and priorities are going to be for 2016.  That being said, I am really excited to be writing again today and I hope that this inspiration will continue and I can continue to create new stories and adventures to share with you.

I hope you are all having an amazing Wednesday!  Until next time…

-M

Time for a Fall Update!

  
Well good morning friends,

Life has been crazy busy lately, but things are still amazing in my world. Any free time that I have had in my life has been recently dedicated to the preparation of the 2015 Reel Pride Film Festival. 

Reel Pride announced our full festival lineup on September 18 and our festival programs will begin to appear around Winnipeg later this week. This year I helped to build the online program as well as bring our ticketing system online. It took a lot of effort to setup initially, but will make things so much better and faster throughout the festival. All the details are available at http://www.reelpride.org. 

I have finally had the opportunity to stop and breathe now that the program has been launched. I have invested in a new cellphone  which has helped curb much of my technological frustrations. I was experiencing  insufficient memory issues on my old phone resulting in it not doing anything helpful.  I am really satisfied with my decision to upgrade. I am much happier and feeling much more productive. 

I am on day 6 of 7 of work. I am looking forward to having Tuesday & Wednesday off more than you can imagine.  I need to do laundry as I have officially run out of clean socks this morning. Wednesday is also the first film for Reel Pride at the University of Manitoba. The film A Gay Girl in Damascus: The Amina Project, directed by Sophie Deraspe, is a free event in partnership with the Women’s and Gender Study department.

Otherwise, things are great in my world. This is one of my two favourite seasons. I love how colourful autumn is. It is beautiful driving around the city surrounded by the multicoloured canopies provided by the rows and rows of trees that line our streets!  

I hope you have an amazing Sunday!  Don’t forget to be a superhero to someone today! 

My Brain Leaked

 I am sorry for disappearing yet again. Life has thrown me yet another curve ball and I find that I have landed back in a bad place where I’m struggling to stay on top of everything. 

I knocked myself unconscious about six weeks ago. I suffered a pretty bad concussion from it and am still feeling the effects of it. It gets worse when I am fatigued and I find that I can’t remember the simple things. It is incredibly frustrating because I like to think I’m a pretty intelligent person, but I am feeling really incompetent at life lately because I’m struggling to remember how to do the things that I used to find so easy. 

As a result, I have not been blogging or vlogging because I mostly lack the mental capacity to remember to grab my camera and start filming or feel like I’ve become so basic that I my life has become irrelevant and not worth sharing. I really need this injury to recover so that I can get back to feeing like myself. 

On that note, I think that it is important that you take a moment to appreciate the skills and talents you have today because tomorrow they may be gone. Take nothing in life for granted because life is an incredible gift and we only get one and it is amazing how fast it comes and goes.

Remember you’re a superhero to someone else so go make a difference in your world!

A Long Overdue Blog and a Happy Earth Day

 

I feel like I don’t even remember how to sit down and write a blog. It has been such a long time and there have been so many changes in my life I don’t even know where to begin. 

I guess I should start with the thing that is still the same since most of you will think that this is the first thing that I would change. I haven’t changed jobs and am quickly approaching my one year anniversary of driving a transit bus.  I am really happy and don’t see that changing anytime in the near future. 
The biggest change that has happened in my life is the separation of me and M.  After four years we have officially separated (again). As a result, I have moved out of our home and have become roomies with one of my very best friends. I have spent two nights in my new home and it has been great so far. 
Since my last official blog, I have been living with my parents who thankfully were able to provide me accommodations through the rough period of the initial separation. My parents and I have had our challenges in getting along in the past, but this time I would describe the past month of living with them a blessing. I have realized how precious time is and how quickly it passes by. I am really thankful that I had the opportunity to spend time with my parents while they are still young and healthy. 
As I mentioned earlier, I moved in with my friend S at the beginning of this week. I was really nervous about learning how to share my living space with a friend and uncertain about how me intruding on her living space was going to go. However, we have made it through two days together and so far we am adapting well, but I can only speak for my views of the situation. 
I have also switched back to driving the late night buses at work. It is wonderful starting work after 3pm, but it would be even more wonderful if my body would adapt to sleeping in past 10am. I’m sure with time the change will take place, but until then I am having to schedule afternoon naps into my day to make sure I am well rested for my work shift. 
I think I have briefly summarized all the major highlights of the last little while in my life. I am really enjoying focusing my energy into positive changes and striving to become more aligned and focused on my values and goals. One of my goals that you’ve probably noticed me struggling with has been writing and maintaining my blog. I am looking forward to adding the change of writing to my life and making it a much higher priority than I have made it over the last while.
I think that is where I am going to end my blog today. There are many more stories to come so stay tuned. Happy Earth Day!