Pushing Through Hard Days

Work days are the hardest days to blog. I feel like nothing happens that is worth blogging about. Someone yelled at me within the first 5 minutes of my shift today though, and I dragged the frustration of that around the city with me. It made for a super long day. Then I came home and had dinner and got ready for bed. I did however have a really important moment of self-discovery while recording today’s vlog.

Hard Core Plowing

Talk about being the master accomplisher today. I love having days off from work so that I can spend them checking off all the goals that I have set for myself and for Reel Pride. Today was no exception. I accomplished so many things that I wanted to do. However, I totally forgot to mark in my calendar that I was supposed to be hanging out with Jenna & Mike and so that derailed my plans to work on Reel Pride, but in totally a good way! We hung out, went for Pho, drove out to Lockport to have ice cream, and then toured around a bit before we all headed home to pass out with our food coma’s.

Battle It Out

I really wish that I was able to enjoy days off, but it always seems like there are so many tasks around the house that I need to get through. Today was no exception. I am suffering the consequences of having moved everything into the dining room and trying to get everything reorganized. My evening was wonderful as I had the opportunity to attend RuPaul’s Battle of the season with Mike T and then headed over to Club 200 for a drink afterwards. There was an interesting emotional moment that happened though when I realized that I was in a gay bar which I have always felt was my safe space.

Turn it off!

Today is day 7 in a row of work for me. I came home and was looking forward to nothing more than putting on my Pajamas, crawling into bed, and falling asleep before 8pm. 

It is now after 9 and I still am wide awake, but still too tired to do anything functional. My brain keeps running off on wild trains of thoughts and I just can’t seem to make it stop. It is incredibly frustrating as my thoughts aren’t going anywhere productive or logical.

I don’t know how to make my brain relax so that it can recharge for my busy weekend ahead. It feels as if I have been using my brain too much over the past few weeks that it has become a freight train speeding down the tracks so fast that pieces have started to fly off into every direction. I am trying to get it to stop, but I feel like the brakes have all rattled off and now I’m left feeling out of control over my train of thoughts. 

I have often found that writing helps to refocus me and allows me to pull these thoughts out in an organized fashion. I hope that in sharing this blog it will allow me to find some calm, order, and relaxation that my brain and body so desperately need!  Yup, there’s the yawn starting. 

I am really looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Then I get to wake up and go see Les to get my hair cut. Then I have to come home and get organized to represent Reel Pride at The Forks this weekend for pride. My friend Jenna is staying with Mike for the weekend so I am headed over there tomorrow evening for dinner before going to Fame tomorrow night for Chase the Queen. It is going to be another incredibly long weekend of events for Reel Pride. 

I am going to try closing my eyes again and going to bed.  I’m sorry if this blog wasn’t really that interesting, but it was more so just a random ranting of me pulling my thoughts into focus and out of chaos. If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading and I promise to try and make my next blog more interesting. Apparently I have fallen out of practise due to the lack of consistency in my blog posts. 

– Matt