Sometimes the Universe Kicks Me in the Teeth!

I am incredibly humbled by how powerful my universe is. It never fails to put me in the right place, at the right time, surrounded by the right people, and it is so incredibly blunt about what is going on. Let me give you some background about how I’ve been feeling and I promise it will all make sense by the end. 

I have been feeling super lost and overwhelmed in my life and by all my responsibilities over the past few months. I have been struggling to make all the pieces fit back together correctly since my world was turned upside down in January. 

I have also been required to step up to fulfill more and more duties for Reel Pride as people’s lives change around me. We had a major event with Reel Pride this past weekend that I invested a lot of time and energy into, which was rewarded with a significant increase to our attendance over last year. 

However, I have been realizing very quickly how much of myself I have been loosing to the way I have been spending my time. I have forgotten to put time into the things that I enjoy doing and find the most value from. It has been several months since I last stopped to read a book. It has been even longer since I last picked up a ball of yarn and worked on a knitting project. I don’t even remember the last blog or vlog I posted. 

I have had an ever increasing urge to refocus my energy on myself, but I have been doing a really good job of procrastinating actually doing it. I keep saying that I will do it, but I just need to do one more project for someone else before I look after myself. It has been about two weeks of me saying the exact same thing to myself. 

Today, I was having a terrible day today. I have not been enjoying my job lately, and was rewarded with a visit from a supervisor who was following up on several passenger complaints. Seeing him show up made my mood even worse. He didn’t have anything terrible to say, but just being told that someone thinks I did a bad job didn’t make me feel any better. 

I went through the motions of my day, watching the clock count the seconds by getting closer and closer to the end of my day. I was on my final trip to Downtown when one of my regular passengers boarded the bus. She always puts a smile on my face as we have some very interesting conversations. 

Today the conversation drifted towards my work with Reel Pride. It turns out that she used to be a costume maker for several other theatre companies. We discussed the world of the arts for a bit, and eventually she shared her story with me that she also used to blog regularly. However, due to life events she stopped. We talked for a while more and I was so incredibly thankful I had sunglasses to hide my tears. Our conversations was such a blessing and it reminded me about how much I love blogging and how necessary it is for my soul. 

Within that conversation with a person I wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for my job, I found an important lesson. I found the inspiration to sit down and write a blog and also something wonderful about what was going to be a terrible day. Writing and making movies are two things I love to do, my challenge becomes remembering to make myself a priority.