Feeling Grey

 I feel like the sky has been an incredibly accurate reflection of my mood today. It was grey.  I’m not sure what has gotten my mood so depressed, but I certainly know that I don’t like the way that it feels one bit.
I think that part of the cause may be that I have been contemplating what the next adventure in my life is going to look like.  Right now I feel like I am staring at a brand new container of never used play dough.  There is so much possibility about what I can make, but right now all I feel like I am doing with my life is watching the play dough dry up and become wasted.

I have re-registered to go back to university this upcoming January.  Reading through the course catalog has been an exciting experience, but a bit overwhelming at the same time.  I have had a challenging experience with university in the respect that I have never learned how to study.  Opening a textbook was never a skill that was required of me during my high school career.  It is exciting to think that the possibility of me completing my undergraduate degree is something that could be accomplished with a bit of time and effort.

I don’t know what the next step in my adventure is, but I hope that it involves way more sunshine.  Don’t forget to check out my vlog post and remember to subscribe to see where this crazy adventure ends up going and if you have connections please make the sun shine on my day tomorrow because that would be a really special touch!

Confusion About the Future

 What a grey rainy day off today has been. I have been pretending to be an adult and getting caught up on all my chores around the house.  I decided that it was time to take a break and sit down infant of my computer to write a blog post. I have been reflecting quite heavily about my previous post regarding the renewal of my blog site. It has been a challenging decision and I certainly am no where near coming to a conclusion about what it is that I am going to do with my blog.

Today I have actually sat down at the computer as opposed to writing on my cell phone which has been the traditional location for most of the blogs that I have written. Some of the things that I prefer about sitting down at the computer is that I can type on a traditional keyboard which allows me to type much faster. It allows me to write almost as fast as I can think as compared to the tiny keyboard on my cell phone. The downside to this is that my laptop is much less portable and I am unable to write a certain kind of blog post that can only be written out and about to share the emotion and experience I am feeling at the exact moment that I chose to blog. However, going forward I would certainly like to spend a bit more time writing at my desk rather than always blogging from a mobile platform.

I have been off work for the last two days following a seven day stretch of days worked in a row. It has been really nice having two full days to enjoy my life and refocusing myself on my goals and priorities post volunteering for Reel Pride 2015. I have organized the papers on about half of my desk (because I keep everything in a well organized and catalogued manner so that I can actually find things that I am looking for in the future and the mess that has been my desk for the past two months has been driving me absolutely insane). I have also been catching up on three weeks of untouched dirty laundry which is essentially done with the exception of a few items that need to be folded and put away because matching socks is absolutely the worst chore in the world.

I am looking forward to finishing all my chores today so that I will have a clean and well organized workspace to refocus myself towards the pursuit of my goals and dreams as we charge rapidly towards 2016. I am pretty sure that I am going to renew my blog as well as to continue to grow my youtube channel, but I want to make sure that it feels right before I commit to another year of my site as there are still a few days left to make the official decision.

I also want to quickly say thank you to everyone that has been a part of the making of the success of both my blog and vlog. This past summer my blog passed 5,000 views and my youtube channel is about to cross the same threshold. It is an indescribable feeling knowing that so many people have taken time from their life to read or watch the content that I have created and I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to share my views and experiences of the world with you, so thank you. Below is today’s vlog as well for you that are interested in checking out my youtube channel.

Have a super day and I’ll talk to you tomorrow!

To Blog, To Vlog, or Both?

  

It has been two years since I first started blogging. The renewal notice for my website has once again arrived via email. The predicament that I am faced with is whether or not to renew. 

As you all know, I have been incredibly unfaithful to vlogging and blogging over the past year. Part of that had been to life circumstances, but most of it has been due to a lack of confidence in my creativity. That confidence is slowly coming back, but I am still very shaky about actually sharing the stories I have made. 

I have been finding more success with vlogging and have been posting videos to my YouTube channel more frequently than I have been sharing written stories. Part of the success with that is recording a 30 second video clip only takes a 30 second commitment from my day. However, making the time to write is a much more demanding task as it has taken me 5 minutes to get this far in this post, although is has probably only taken you about 30 seconds to read. 

I have also recently changed my focus away from trying to create the type of stories I think people want to read and have turned it more onto sharing the types of stories I want to share. I have been enjoying creating and sharing my work with you all much more since I adjusted my priority. 

I have one more week to decide what the future of supermattymatt.com is, but I’m not sure if this will be the end of my story telling as you know it. I am going to be contemplating this decision very throughly over the next few days. Stay tuned. 

All Things Must Come To An End

  

Good Morning Friends,

I have talked a lot lately about how much time I have been committing to Reel Pride. It has been an incredible festival and I so rewarding to experience being in the theatre with a group of people and sharing in the experience of watching these films. However, today marks the final day of the festival.

On Wednesday, I had the pleasure of being a part of the Short Film Selection Committee for the 12th Annual Canadian GLBTTQ* Short Film Competition. We had a record number of submissions which we were able to narrow down to a program of 17 different films. In the process of curating this program, building the program and testing the final projection copies of the disks to make sure the program was flawless I have seen the selected films many many times. I think the most fascinating aspect to watching the final program with an audience was how different the experience was. The reaction from the audience was incredible and made all the hard work that I have committed to the project totally worth the time and effort.

As a part of the Short Film Competition, two film makers were able to join Reel Pride this year from Vancouver. I had the pleasure of hosting David C. Jones and another lady graciously hosted Paula Stromberg. It was fun to be a tourist in my own city once again. I had the opportunity to go to the Winnipeg Art Gallery and the Canadian Museum of Human Rights. I have been so busy lately that I lost focus of my priorities (including blogging). Spending time with them certainly helped to refocus me on what is important to me as well as to inspire me to challenge myself both professionally and personally. I am really looking forward to building off the momentum that these two incredible people that I now have the pleasure of calling my friends have provided me.

Yesterday, I said goodbye to David at the airport and am back at the Gas Station Arts Centre enjoying the full day of programming which Reel Pride has provided. We have three films today as well as two other events taking place. Industry day was a wonderful experience to have a personal discussion with several people that have been successful in the film industry. I feel truly lucky to be in the position that I am and have the opportunity to learn the lessons that Reel Pride has been able to teach me and to make the amazing personal connections with the people that I have through my position on the board.

As I mentioned, today will be the closing day of the 27th Annual Reel Pride Film Festival. We are closing the festival with the film S&M Sally which has been given a PG rating. I am really looking forward to putting my feet up and enjoying this film from beginning to end without any interruptions (I have booked this film off of my volunteer shifts). Monday will be spent relaxing and recovering from my last 17 days of vacation from bus driving all of which have been donated to Reel Pride to contribute to the success of this amazing 30th festival.

With that I am going to wrap up by thanking all the close friends and family I have in my life for their patience with me for the lack of communication that I have had over the past few weeks leading up to the festival. I am looking forward to reconnecting with all of you now that my responsibilities are coming to an end. I also have to thank the friends that have provided me the encouragement to come back to blogging after being discouraged so many times by negative feedback.

Have an amazing day,

-SuperMattyMatt

Early Mornings Ruin Everything!

  

Setting my alarm clock for 4:10am is the worst part about Friday nights. Why did I decided to pick a piece of work that started so early Saturday mornings? On the plus side, my vacation starts at 3:26pm today, but I promise I’m not counting the minutes. 

Last night was “roommate night”. It feels like I never see Shannon anymore because I have been busy with work and Reel Pride, and her daughter was with us this week so she was always off doing something with her. I picked up hot wings from Safeway and we went on an adventure to find some wine and vodka to accompany dinner. It was super fun to finally get to spend some quality friend time with her that wasn’t interrupted by children (even though her adult children still crashed the party). 

I had to cut our evening a little short as I had to work this morning. The piece of work I picked is pretty easy and takes me to Polo Park Shopping Centre. It is hard to believe that it is October 3, we still haven’t seen temperatures below zero, and that there are still flowers out in the flower pots surrounding the mall. 

I’m on my split and going to take a nap before heading back to work in a few hours. I’m only 3 round trips away from 2 weeks of holidays!  I have planned to do nothing except relax which I’m looking forward to. I’m sure I’ll find some trouble to get into, but until then I’m really excited for “me” time. 

Have a great weekend,

-SuperMattyMatt

Time to Change the Calendar Already?!?!?

  

Good Morning Friends,

Did I miss September? I only just changed my calendar from August to September last week (yeah, I missed the boat on that one a little bit). I totally didn’t realize it was October 1 today until the first passenger showed me their brand new shiny monthly bus pass. I almost corrected them before I realized that we are beginning another new month. 
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to watch the first film of the 2015 Reel Pride Pre-Festival Program at the University of Manitoba. The film was called A Gay Girl In Damasus: The Amina Profile.  It was an extremely interesting film portraying the online lesbian relationship between a woman in Montreal, Canada and a woman, Amina, who claimed to be from Damasus, Syria. Their relationship helped to fuel Amina’s blog as she shared stories about what it was like to be a lesbian in Syria during the government crackdowns. The story takes a strange twist when Amina is suspected of having been detained by Syria forces, but no one can find any record of her arrests. 

I’m not going to tell you anything more because the film is an absolute must see. The film was followed by a discussion led by Drs. Janice Dodds and Liz Millward. It was very interesting listening to all the different perspectives and interpretations of the film. I am so glad that I had the opportunity to participate in this event and it helped to remind me why I’m a part of Reel Pride’s board of directors. 

I just got home from work and finished setting up my new bed frame that Shannon, my roommate, rescued from her brother’s house that he was planning on throwing away. I am so happy with it and so thankful that Shannon is such an amazing friend!

I have to get ready to get back to work shortly for my second piece of work. I am really looking forward to seeing what October has in store. I also can’t wait for my Mom to finally start planning Thanksgiving Dinner because I am really looking forward to stuffing my face with her yummy home cooked food. 

On that note, I’m going to find breakfast. Have an awesome Thursday!  

-SuperMattyMatt