Pushing Through Hard Days

Work days are the hardest days to blog. I feel like nothing happens that is worth blogging about. Someone yelled at me within the first 5 minutes of my shift today though, and I dragged the frustration of that around the city with me. It made for a super long day. Then I came home and had dinner and got ready for bed. I did however have a really important moment of self-discovery while recording today’s vlog.

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Hard Core Plowing

Talk about being the master accomplisher today. I love having days off from work so that I can spend them checking off all the goals that I have set for myself and for Reel Pride. Today was no exception. I accomplished so many things that I wanted to do. However, I totally forgot to mark in my calendar that I was supposed to be hanging out with Jenna & Mike and so that derailed my plans to work on Reel Pride, but in totally a good way! We hung out, went for Pho, drove out to Lockport to have ice cream, and then toured around a bit before we all headed home to pass out with our food coma’s.

Battle It Out

I really wish that I was able to enjoy days off, but it always seems like there are so many tasks around the house that I need to get through. Today was no exception. I am suffering the consequences of having moved everything into the dining room and trying to get everything reorganized. My evening was wonderful as I had the opportunity to attend RuPaul’s Battle of the season with Mike T and then headed over to Club 200 for a drink afterwards. There was an interesting emotional moment that happened though when I realized that I was in a gay bar which I have always felt was my safe space.

Turn it off!

Today is day 7 in a row of work for me. I came home and was looking forward to nothing more than putting on my Pajamas, crawling into bed, and falling asleep before 8pm. 

It is now after 9 and I still am wide awake, but still too tired to do anything functional. My brain keeps running off on wild trains of thoughts and I just can’t seem to make it stop. It is incredibly frustrating as my thoughts aren’t going anywhere productive or logical.

I don’t know how to make my brain relax so that it can recharge for my busy weekend ahead. It feels as if I have been using my brain too much over the past few weeks that it has become a freight train speeding down the tracks so fast that pieces have started to fly off into every direction. I am trying to get it to stop, but I feel like the brakes have all rattled off and now I’m left feeling out of control over my train of thoughts. 

I have often found that writing helps to refocus me and allows me to pull these thoughts out in an organized fashion. I hope that in sharing this blog it will allow me to find some calm, order, and relaxation that my brain and body so desperately need!  Yup, there’s the yawn starting. 

I am really looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Then I get to wake up and go see Les to get my hair cut. Then I have to come home and get organized to represent Reel Pride at The Forks this weekend for pride. My friend Jenna is staying with Mike for the weekend so I am headed over there tomorrow evening for dinner before going to Fame tomorrow night for Chase the Queen. It is going to be another incredibly long weekend of events for Reel Pride. 

I am going to try closing my eyes again and going to bed.  I’m sorry if this blog wasn’t really that interesting, but it was more so just a random ranting of me pulling my thoughts into focus and out of chaos. If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading and I promise to try and make my next blog more interesting. Apparently I have fallen out of practise due to the lack of consistency in my blog posts. 

– Matt

Sometimes the Universe Kicks Me in the Teeth!

I am incredibly humbled by how powerful my universe is. It never fails to put me in the right place, at the right time, surrounded by the right people, and it is so incredibly blunt about what is going on. Let me give you some background about how I’ve been feeling and I promise it will all make sense by the end. 

I have been feeling super lost and overwhelmed in my life and by all my responsibilities over the past few months. I have been struggling to make all the pieces fit back together correctly since my world was turned upside down in January. 

I have also been required to step up to fulfill more and more duties for Reel Pride as people’s lives change around me. We had a major event with Reel Pride this past weekend that I invested a lot of time and energy into, which was rewarded with a significant increase to our attendance over last year. 

However, I have been realizing very quickly how much of myself I have been loosing to the way I have been spending my time. I have forgotten to put time into the things that I enjoy doing and find the most value from. It has been several months since I last stopped to read a book. It has been even longer since I last picked up a ball of yarn and worked on a knitting project. I don’t even remember the last blog or vlog I posted. 

I have had an ever increasing urge to refocus my energy on myself, but I have been doing a really good job of procrastinating actually doing it. I keep saying that I will do it, but I just need to do one more project for someone else before I look after myself. It has been about two weeks of me saying the exact same thing to myself. 

Today, I was having a terrible day today. I have not been enjoying my job lately, and was rewarded with a visit from a supervisor who was following up on several passenger complaints. Seeing him show up made my mood even worse. He didn’t have anything terrible to say, but just being told that someone thinks I did a bad job didn’t make me feel any better. 

I went through the motions of my day, watching the clock count the seconds by getting closer and closer to the end of my day. I was on my final trip to Downtown when one of my regular passengers boarded the bus. She always puts a smile on my face as we have some very interesting conversations. 

Today the conversation drifted towards my work with Reel Pride. It turns out that she used to be a costume maker for several other theatre companies. We discussed the world of the arts for a bit, and eventually she shared her story with me that she also used to blog regularly. However, due to life events she stopped. We talked for a while more and I was so incredibly thankful I had sunglasses to hide my tears. Our conversations was such a blessing and it reminded me about how much I love blogging and how necessary it is for my soul. 

Within that conversation with a person I wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for my job, I found an important lesson. I found the inspiration to sit down and write a blog and also something wonderful about what was going to be a terrible day. Writing and making movies are two things I love to do, my challenge becomes remembering to make myself a priority.

Needing to Unload

I really should be sleeping, but there are too many things going on in my brain. Thus, I have decided to spend a bit of time writing to unload some of the stress from my head. 

The most exciting news is that tickets have officially gone on sale for the annual Best International LGBTTQ* Commercials: 2016 Edition.  I woke up at 3:00am today trying to plan the logistics of our event taking place at the Bandwidth Theatre. It is a beautiful venue, but the lobby and box office area is very limited and thus I am hoping that a new layout strategy will help create a much better guest experience for this event. 

I managed to fall back asleep for a brief while before getting up to meet our Art Exhibit curator which will begin the festival on October 11. We had a very productive meeting and I am very excited to see what collection of artwork will be displayed this year. 

I came home and did some general organization of my house which I’ve been meaning to do for way too long. There have been a number of big projects that I have undertaken recently. As a result, my house has been lost due to clutter. I’m generally a very organized person, and now I’m surrounded by organized clutter. I spent several hours organizing and managed to reclaim some of my living space. There is still quite a bit of work to be done, but I feel incredibly accomplished in the tasks that I completed today. 

I spent my evening finishing watching the new season of the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I’m already looking forward to the next season as 13 episodes weren’t enough to satisfy me. I then moved on to watching way too many episodes of Downton Abbey. I’m pretty sure I have picked up a slight British accent this evening and also realized my new life goal is to be a countess. 

I also ordered pizza for dinner which I’m now regretting. I can never just have a slice or two and now I’m feeling overfilled. On the bright side, I will have left over pizza for lunch and dinner tomorrow which is definitely one of my favourite meals. 

Now I’m laying in bed reflecting on my day and thinking about what tomorrow should look like. I struggled to bring myself to set my alarm clock to wake me up at 6:00am tomorrow for work. I really would enjoy more days off as my last two days have been committed to accomplishing tasks for Reel Pride. 

On that note, I should probably go to bed. I hope you all had an amazing day and we shall talk to you again soon. 

-Matt

Traveling Supermattymatt Style

  Well hello again friends,

Where does all my time go? I don’t know why consistent blogging seems to be so difficult for me, but I am really bad at designating time to share my thoughts with you, and for that I apologize once again. 

Today I am only finding the time because I am trapped in an airplane at 39,000 feet on my way back from a 24 hour whirlwind vacation in Maui. It was my first time experiencing inflight wifi which was really amazing being connected with the world while travelling across the ocean. 

 The weather in Maui was amazing. My friend Jenna and I spent the afternoon relaxing by the pool enjoying the sunshine and some cocktails. In the morning, we woke up and walked down to Starbucks to have breakfast before making our way back to the airport to come home. 

We arrived into Vancouver last night just before midnight and headed straight to the hotel. It is amazing how tiring sitting in an airplane can be. I had to wake up early this morning to catch my flight back to Winnipeg. We have about an hour left in flight and I haven’t been able to fall asleep because of the consistent light turbulence that keep waking me up. 

Sometimes my life provides me with such a surreal version of reality. I feel like my reality isn’t a story that many other people can say they have experienced such as just going to Hawaii for the day. I’m so thankful for the ridiculously cool opportunities I get to have. Very soon I’ll be getting back to Winnipeg where the pilot keeps sharing a rumour that it is cold and rainy. 

I’m back to work again tomorrow. I’m excited as it will be my first day working with my new schedule. It is also somewhat sad because I start my day 20 minutes earlier now. I hope you have an amazing day and I look forward to chatting again soon. 

-Matt